Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Somedays all I do is Watch the Sky

Sometimes it scares me how much I relate to Alan.

You know, Alan...

...The guy with the satchel.

Besides the fact that I own more than one "satchel" I also am really fascinated with the Jonas Brothers, babies, and Haley's Comet. Or in my case, meteor showers. I was laying in bed last night, kind of down in the dumps, when I stumbled upon an informative Tweet. Yes, I jumped out of bed last night at 3 a.m. to watch a meteor shower. Yes, I know that wasn't the smartest thing I could have done during finals week but let me tell you...it was worth it.

I got in my car and began to drive and hopefully escape the lights of Edmond, America. After about 20 minutes, and 4 replays of the Glee version of Teenage Dream, I began to think. Scratch that, I began to pray. My list of prayers went a little something like this:

  1. My mom and her cancer -If she is lucky to live to 60 that means she is lucky to live 5 more years. NOT OKAY. We all know our parents are supposed to live forever.

  2. My dad. For the above reason.

  3. My grades- it is finals week afterall.

  4. Lastly, I prayed that I would be shown a sign.

Apparently I was hoping that the Heavans would let the stars fall in some order as for them to spell out my life for me. And then a remarkable thing happened: I saw a star fall as if it was meant for me to see. Or maybe I just wanted it to be for me, either way...

So here I was, driving down Edmond Road in the wee hours of Tuesday morning listening to Carolina Liar (because I had enough of Teenage Dream). And here is what I heard....

Wait, I’m wrong Should have done better than this

Please, I’ll be strong I’m finding it hard to resist

So show me what I’m looking for

Save me, I’m lost

Oh Lord, I’ve been waiting for you

I’ll pay any cost

Save me from being confused

Show me what I’m looking for

Show me what I’m looking for…oh Lord

How fitting...

Perfect lyrics?? At a time like this?? (Pardon the Alan reference) So a star basically FELL for ME and this song PLAYED for ME like it was meant to be. Alright so there's my sign. Now what?


I discovered that this whole time I knew what I wanted but I was very scared. Scared to leave my family, my friends, making the wrong decision, being a failure. You know, the usual. When I asked God for a sign I longed for it to be that I am meant to live somewhere with mountains and real snowflakes (not ice chips). I wanted a sign that my dream job (at the Make a Wish Foundation) would be a reality. Or mostly that it COULD be a reality. I wanted a sign, no, a billboard to say that I am SUPPOSED to leave Oklahoma..just for a little while. You know, to test the waters.

When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires will come to you

-Thank you Jeminy Cricket for being so real.